Manifest vs. Unmanifest

I don’t know why always Eternal Father reminded me of the Uncertainty of Life.  I was often reminded with the Law of Impermanence in my journey of Life until now. Is it the question of stability or instability or else the supreme consciousness wanted to say something about this through me? I was in a deep inquiry. It was when the young man who used to ask lot of questions to acquire something from my knowledge, left me stranded as everyone did, I was deeply inquiring myself on what forced us from this separation. What is with this Law of Detachment? What does it denotes? What people do have to learn from this Law which the Eternal Father, the supreme Consciousness framed out. My inquiries were stronger and stronger as time passed. 

Before I get into my mind’s conversation, a small recap: The man who questions me always was deeply discontent with the Life he lives in. With lot of knowledge acquired through books, religious texts and his own bitter experiences in life, he already swapped happiness in his life with emptiness. But I can feel that is not the real emptiness. It is not actually nullified. The actual nullification in life requires greater deal of consciousness. I know he is a struggling piece of wood, in a heavy stream of water. He is conscious that he is flowing with the stream, but I can sense that unconsciously he is trying to get into any one shore but is confused which shore. He felt that “Nothing” is there in life and everything is “Vanity”. But he was not able to understand when I said “Life is nothing I agree, It will fulfill only when you understand that “Everything” lies in that “Nothing”.  According to me What we see, What we conceive, What we perceive is “Vanity”. But what would we call the sense of perception, touch and feel. What causes it? Though everything is Vanity, all living beings, everything lives in it right. Knowing Life is Nothing, is that good neglecting life completely? It would be a mere pretension. I sensed it from the Young Man. 

Most of the times I was reminded of this “Nothingness”, especially through this youngster, but I had to put forth a series of questions to get the answer and still seeking...

Conscious: What is it? Don’t I remember that this world is “Nothing” and all is “Vanity”. Had I not incurred losses in my whole life? Didn’t I lost my Friends, My lovable ones, My hard earned money, etc., 

Subconscious : Yes. The life itself is impermanent. Nothing will stay here, physically. Don’t you know anything too emotionally attached will create a state of unhappiness. What happened in your life is also the same thing only. It is only to make you understand the Law of impermanence.

Conscious: Aren’t people living in the same way?

Destiny vs Destination

It was a long day. The sun took little bit to set in the west. What an amazing site, especially when it is viewed from somewhere near the seashore. Nature has set all her beauty in smallest things like this. Sunset, a single silly dew drop on a green grass, greenish mountain tops, tall growing pines. I have seen such sites in sivannah hills. People do call it as God's Dwelling Place. Now this site is somewhere in a place called God's Own Country. I always run to sleep in her lap. Mother Nature's lap. Visiting this place is always nostalgic.

But unusually now this time everything looked so new to me. As new as a new born child's face. The place looked new. The people looked new. I wish everyday should rise as new as this. Still it is an expectation with an image of today. Suddenly something itchy in the mind. The friend who took me for this trip, started talking about my physical difficulties.

Friend: So, you are not going to take up the treatment.

Me: Won't you understand my friend. These treatments are for those feel this as an ailment. But I never felt the same way. I never felt it is an ailment. I am living as it is. I felt it is the way I am going to present myself to the world, 'I' as it is. Moreover I am not ready to borrow and dump more money into something which is of no use. No medicine can induce my speed, No ailment is going to stop me forever. I am happy as I am, as it is.

Friend: But have you heard the doctor said. Your complete muscles may become numb and insensitive. Ayurveda is only natural. If you follow his directions, he will make you okay.

Me: Within two years. Right. That too, not a complete recovery. A 60% development from the current situation.

Friend : Yes. So what? At least you will not be like what you are now. Think it like this, it is only two years.

Me: Okay. Can you assure or predict what will happen tomorrow or the next moment, my friend?

Friend: I understand what you are saying. No one here in this world is keeping mum knowing that they are going to die one or other day. Tomorrow is unpredictable, so, why can't you live today?

Relationship Vs Relativity

As usual we were standing in that roadside restaurant in Chennai for morning breakfast. I made my life so simple and delegate. Many of us would not be aware of what is happening inside a top-chef's kitchen. But some delicious high class hygienic food can be obtained from normal restaurants like where I am standing in Chennai. Since I eat philosophy as my food, and already I am weighing so much caused as a side effect by the intake of some psychiatric medicines, the numbness of my limbs and nerves has made my food intake lesser but hygienic food. I had to depend on somebody to take me for my breakfast or food. One such young boy started talking with me

He: Anna, you are always talking in the sense of whole humanity. But nobody is thinking in the same way. Everybody is cheating others. Nobody is having respect on each other. How could a whole human kind as you talk of will appear in the society.

Me: You are right. We are divided into individuals, groups, communties, religions, states, nations etc, But can you deny the fact that all belong to the same race, Human race – The Whole Mankind. No one can deny it. Who has made such divisions. Isn't it we ourselves? We divide ourselves as races, by language we speak, by the color we have. The only thing I know is Human can be divided into Gender – Male and Female. Rest I don't know.

He: I know it Anna. I have heard from you, from J.Krishnamurti everyone. But the whole humanity as you speak off is stuck up at one thing isn't it? The Culture?

Me: You are talking about culture. I will call it as civilization. Civilization in history actually sculpted culture. Do you know one open bare fact, you can find it in wikipedia, In India they discovered a skeleton of homosapien of about more than 12000 years old proving man existed in this land even 12000 years back. India is also having a known civilization history of about 5600 years. It is what we are following. But the same in terms of America, a known history of about only 500 to 600 years. We don't know the actual history of Native Americans called Red Indians. There are also other group called “Mayans”. Years long of human history also tells us about how we got civilised and how we get culture.

He: Yes. Still this is groupism right.

Me: Yes. But can you tell the answer how there is a significance of same sound(sonance) in what we call “Mother”, “Father” - Ma, pap, Mom, Papa etc., How nations far away too have the same words. Languages have been lent all over the world, is it the right answer? That too in a period of no significant communication as of now. No mobiles, no facebook nothing that time.

He: Won't there be any travellers, who crossed the borders?

Questions vs Answers

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We had finished that fine deal of the meal that day. It was one of the costliest meal in that restaurant, vegetarian though. Had a good food after a long time in my life. I use to think man often run after money for this one basic thing isn't it? Nature has splendid of matters in herself which we just have to pick and enjoy. Food is such as augmentation. But now it is packed in foil covers, A/C restaurants where it is considered healthy. And I am one among that silly humans who enjoys that tasty meal baked inside that packed roof. Our argument about the Dignity and Discipline continued as we entered the auto-rickshaw back to where I am put up.

He: So you are saying that an alert mind will not do something wrong and you call that dignity?

Me: It is not my statement sir. If you put yourself the question, deep inside into your mind, you will get the answer for it. One thing you make sure, the alertness what I am talking is not the mental and physical alertness, like a thief who hangs on with a burglar. I am talking about the whole conscious alertness. Mental, Physical and Astral.

He: Okay sir, I understand. So one with this total conscious alertness will not do anything wrong you are saying, right?

Me: Again, its not my saying. And what do you call as right and wrong sir? Is it your statement of something as right and wrong or somebody else's?

He: We have a very common norms in our society, right?

Me: The very common and generalized do's and dont's?

He: Yes, exactly. We have to run our life by them only. Isn't it? As you say if I am so alert and do something as I said, I will be okay. But what the society will call me?

Me: You have the answer, I think so.

He: Yes, I will be called the wrong doer in the society. I am doing something which this society calls a mistake or wrong anything.

Me: Okay. So you are alert like a thief to a burglar. You want to do something which your total conscious mind says you have the right to do. But there is a burglar set in the society. The table of Do's and Dont's. You sneak into your activity like a thief, but you know there is a burglar set. You are so careful that no one should be alarmed else you would get caught. Now which one you want to do, your intended activity or a good image to the society.

Discipline Vs Dignity

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"By dignity, I mean the high place attained only when the heart and mind are lifted, equally at once, by the creative union of perception and grace"

It is no wonder human beings are always in some kind of pathetic confusion which leads to all kind of chaos in living. The terminologies of living are often misunderstood. This leads to unhealthy living – mentally and physically. The current educational methodology all over the world teaches a student on how to make a living but not really on a living. Living life is often misspelt with words. Mind always fail to be still, without wandering. Imaginations, fantasies, the need of pleasure materialwise, physicalwise etc., are filling the calm abundant space of mind to make it clumsy and the petty human mind never ever gets satisfied that it is full enough and that it cannot take more.

It was one such afternoon I was talking to my colleague to ascertain my above argument. Waiting for meals in that reputed restaurant in Chennai seemed to be no easy task. The restaurant was full as the bearer announced our waiting list number, so that we have to wait until our turn. I can see men and women wandering and pondering around the restaurant like bees into their hives. Quality of the food in that restaurant I thought. My colleague started slowly then

Colleague: Sir, How will you define a happy life?

A.V.R. : How can we define anything in this world sir, and now you are speaking about life itself. Can you please explain What is meant by happiness and how it is achieved?

Colleague: Yes, Say for example, I feel I am living life satisfiedly with my family, my wife, my children and also I have a good job to ponder around my day to day needs. I am having good savings balance, my own house. Something like that.

A.V.R. : Does this mean achieving all this is the real happiness on what you meant?

Colleague: Of course one man in his life is always running behind these things right sir?

A.V.R. : Of course all people do. No no. Most of the people do and they call it as their accomplishment and also the purpose of life. We do run always behind these things. But can you say are we really finding the real happiness in these things. I mean the real happiness.

Colleague : When one man achieves the purpose of life, then doesn't that mean the real happiness.

A.V.R. : Purpose of life cannot be achieved, it is there already. Realization of it with awareness is the most important one I believe. With highest state of awareness which leads to more disciplined way of living.

Colleague : How can one achieve such highest state of awareness and what you call as disciplined life?

A.V.R. : Your Question more clearly sir.

Relationship Vs. Recognition

To look into life's problems and find solutions is a very hard thing. I have undergone that in my life. Isolation and being lonely in this lovely world of beautiful relationships is a hard thing to accept. But it was too late when I understood what has happened to me and my people around me. One fine evening when I was discussing with a young fellow about the aspects of life, I got a chance to tell what actually is the way to have an enduring relationship.

Seeker : Anna, I am having a tight problem. I often fail in relationships. I am talking about all kind of relationships. Like the one with my parents, friends, my lover etc., Almost all of this ends in a kind of conflict. I feel too isolated and that no one understands me. I don't know whether it is my fault or their fault. What do I have to do?

A.V.R. : Have you ever asked this question to yourself?

 "What do I have to do?" to yourself.

 If yes you would have found the answer yourself. Think about the problem once again. Are you feeling isolated because no understands you or else you don't understand any one? These are two different ways of interrogating yourself the problem put forth.

I always believe a conflict in a relationship will start from one self. Do you agree?

Mistakes Vs Blunder

Almost 10 in the night. We are returning back home from the tea shop, a place of our gathering ad the only place I go out to relax myself. The physical illness have halted lot of things in my life. Pleasure and Pain. A topic already discussed. The gathering with some youngsters and discussing with them have opened up a lot in my mind; positive or negative. Cool night with clear sky. I always use to watch night sky, love to watch it, especially when it is clear without clouds, mist, as clean as nothing just with many twinkling stars will make my mind rejoice. I am used to it from my younger days onward, sleeping in the terrace, watching the sky, talking with my Mother Nature, feeling like I sleep in her lap itself. That young man's voice broke of my serenity i'm enjoying watching the sky.

Seeker : Anna, we do a lot mistakes in our life. I say it is unavoidable. But others say a man reaches perfection only when he does no mistakes. Do you think there is a perfect man who does no mistakes?

A.V.R. : So we are talking about mistakes. To go into this, we should know what mistakes exactly are. Right? If you say mistakes are unavoidable, then it should be an integral part of life. So what is a mistake. Let’s derive from the word itself, A take which is not proper, mis- take, a take which could mislead you to an undesired position. Am I right? 

If that is the case, then we cannot always say our takes ie., the initiatives for anything in life would be proper always. We make mistakes, because we are unaware of them. You make them, I make them, everyone under the sky makes mistakes. We are unaware how it would affect us in reality. Since it is misleading, we call it a mistake. Thus it becomes un avoidable. I will say mistakes are part of life. If we don’t mistake there is no proper learning of life. No mistakes means that is the part of perfection. Like Creator's hands.

Seeker: Yes anna. Without mistakes we will be having only a theoretical knowledge, but not the practical one.

A.V.R. : You are right. Any book or text can tell you do this, don’t do that, and be good or whatever it is.

Prayer vs. Meditation

Man born in this world often seeks security in one or other way. Security of power, security of relationship, security of authority anything. The essence is he wants to be secured. Above all he wants to be in safe hands.  Darwin  in "Origin of Species" claims that the state of insecurity in living beings when compared to higher beings leads to troubles. Man in earlier days, say it the beginning, he was afraid of darkness, thunder bolt, fire etc., He was troubled and he believed there is this existence of this supreme being. Leave the science, what do religions have in text for us. Whatever it is all about the relationship with the Supreme being called "God" and the inferior being called "Man".


When man seeks security from God, he forgets often there are more needy same like him out there. Sequential queries like "I need this, I need that, Help me do this, help me do that", all comes seeking out a helping hand. Prayer is a kind of seeking. The eternal father, formless spirit, prevailing everywhere, omnipotent, omnipresent and omniscient knows realizes whatever our needs are. But man needs a kind of security by praying. But don't know exactly how to pray, what he seeks out of prayer.


Often we take up lot of printed books, Bible, Qu-ran etc., read verses, chant mantras, follow a system blindly. We forget often "What exactly a prayer is?". This is the essence of all these books. If we talk a language without knowing its meaning of the words how useful that would be? A pure awareness is needed to pray. The following discussion is my revelations of exactly what I got out of the cosmos while talking with the eternal father.

Seeker: Anna, I want to know whether what we do in churches, temples and mosques and all are real prayer? If it is not then what kind of prayer do I have to offer to God?

A.V.R. : I do feel little bit strange about your question my friend. There is nothing called “Such kind of prayer”, if the question is like that, then it means you have divided the prayer into many divisions. There is only one kind of prayer, that is the “prayer” alone. I know what is the problem of you and why you have such divisions in prayer, it is because the religious organizations teach you so. Prayer for the well being, Prayer for the sick, Prayer for the poor so on and so on.

The Ending can be the beginning

A man of joy won't think about the ending and always think about an ever enduring life, life of immortality, no death etc., Because pleasure, the need of pleasure makes him to ask more. When the life is filled with sadness, worries, troublesome mind wants an ending. The ending being the end of the troublesome period or sometimes to life itself. Contradictory aspects and thoughts of human mind. How could always there be happiness? If it is temporary, then what is the meaning of having immortality. This arises when there is a conflict in understanding the beginning and ending. I have undergone such situations when human beings betrayed me, condemned me of nothing, just for being a human. There are days when I even thought of ending my life itself. But some interventions of the cosmic energy made me understand the facts of life. Anyway it will end from one form to begin another. An ending is not just an ending but a path to a new beginning. This is what I believe always.


This is an interesting discussion with a fellow youngster, who become desperate in his life, as once I was. I managed to discuss whatever I received as realization from cosmic energy.

Seeker: Anna, I am so tired of this world. I of course, in my life am filled with sorrows. Though I wish to do lot of things in life, I am not able. Will there be an end for all these. Will my death be an end for all these sorrows?

A.V.R. : What do you want as an end my friend. Ending for your life or else for your sorrows? Aren’t you seeing there is always pleasure and pain both are in parallel in our day to day life. If you question is to end sorrows, then it is that you want to start with pleasures. If you want to end your life then that is another type of question? There is no end in anything, but there is only transformation, from one aspect to another. If you want to get ended up with sorrows, then likely you want a life of pleasure.

Even in death, there is no end. There can be a transformation where your physical body gets transformed to astral body. A state of matter to another state, is it not the physics says?

Seeker: Anna, actually I want to get rid of these things, my sorrow, my worries. But the day to day happenings in my life often gets me rid of that thought. I again circled with worries.

Realization

Everything we lose
What a Life is this?

How long do you plan
To fetch this thought in yourself?

Whom do you believe?
Disappoint and hate yourself?

Human beings will leave without trace
Even before you realize

Where did you fall?
Why did you rose again?
Confusion will sustain!!

Happenings will happen
So you call it a Drama?
What role then you have?
Are you aware?

Are you going to argue?
"Key is with somebody
I'm just a dancing doll!"
What if you don't know to dance properly?

Without realizing what is there already,
What else do you search for?

If you loose something in dark,
Search should be there only...
but with an accompanied light!!

Can you realize
Each move and every wave
is an embodiment of that light?

Be still
Mind needs only, what is lost...

But
What did you lost actually?
When you will realize?
That is the actual quest..!!

Finding the "What" in Life

I was just sipping my cup of tea in that night tea shop. Time is about 10 PM. I from my college days started enjoying this tea at night, in a calm serene, but sultry with city's own polluted environment. There was this boy who always put a lot of questions to me. A junior of about 5 to 6 years younger than me. Only such discussions have made my mind more brighter. It is not just the human psychology which we have to learn, It is human himself. I was too late when I realized things as it is. What is life? 


Many people are running behind something. Call it money, love, sex, a deity or the truth itself. Many are ambitious, but others are not. They are happy within their petty life. Many find it happy to have a routine 9 to 5 office environment, then spending time within their family. These people don't strive to be famous or something, while there is another group which needs money, name and fame, say a celebrity. It is another kind of life set. So what is the exact life's content? I am still searching. Here is a discussion about the same with that boy - A seeker.


Seeker : Anna, you always talk philosophies and also say they are used in our day to day life. Many people, including big religious leaders, have had their own way of answering about the life. What you have in store about life?

A.V.R. : So what is your question? Are you trying to find the answers from the answers of others. Then I can say only you are walking the wrong path. How can I know if you feel hungry? It is you who can feel it and then comes the question. But when we know there are plenty of food available outside, the idea of that it would be tasty and spicy, stops the mind from consuming what is exactly necessary at the moment to stop the real hunger.

Seeker : Those are just ideas of them isn't it, We get the glimpse of that Idea, But what matters is "We need food" isn't it?

Discussions rather than Conclusions

What I am trying to present here are rather discussions than conclusions. I don't believe in teaching the unknown. I think I don't fit in that scenario. But life has taught me better lessons. The outcomes of my own bitter and better experiences. These words come out of that experiences. Does that mean I've neglected "Life" completely. My inner mind says "Negative". I am not a saint or who have taken "Sannyasham" leaving all the worldly affairs. In content even "sannyasham" is also a worldly affair in other term. All of us walk towards something. That is it. The purpose is to live properly.

Questions start right from our childhood. We want to know more. We always drive our life to the next level. So where is the end. May be there is no end. There can be only transformation. I intend to present all the contents in this blog as part of discussions I had with my friends, family members, students(I was an academic teacher, so take in that sense) so on and on.

The discussions will be like a seeker who is seeking something firing questions at me. The answers will be what I know, What I learn't etc., But it is again an interrogation. Because answers maximum lie in the questions itself. It is already there.

It is all about deriving at something which is unknown.

I use the term "Anna", as many of my fellow youngsters use to call me in tamil, it actually means "Elder Brother". So I put it in the same manner here in blog too.

To know more about my biography(?!), visit http://mythoughtsarehazy.blogspot.com, http://www.alphaatomega.com

If anybody have something comments, feel free to feed it. It is rather a search together.

The Beginning

These are just the talks of this ordinary man. A common man if seen from any perspective. It is because now only I've just started using the sixth sense, the sense of rational thinking in the right way. Until then I was an animal and now just traveling towards the attainment of the man-ness. I always wondered how and when this man started thinking rationally, and finally is he different from animals yet? A question unanswered.

It is my quest towards the unknown. Actually it is not a journey towards a parallel universe. There is a lot to know in this world itself. I remember Einstein wondered about the overlying Ocean, when he stood in the shore. I belong to that category. I born in Tiruvannamalai, a spiritual town, which taught divinity to me. I don't belong to a particular religion, but I started my quest there. Still searching for the Truth. Different people with different styles of life and of course different kinds of problems, often made me to think "What the hell is this life?". Rather only this thought made me to dig out the unknown, but the digging continues. Only thing which matters is the cost I have given for it. My whole life. Costing my whole life, still I search for the right answer.

What is life? What is the purpose of life? What we seek in life and we run after what? Who is God? How he will be? What is his form? Is the existence of a supreme being true? If true why there are so much of infirmities in this life? In such a case how people who do what is called wrong is living happily? How they live bullying on others.. with all kinds of iniquities and infirmities? In such a case, what is the actual form of living? Are dominant religious, political leaders, money bearing millionaires are selected people by the supreme being to exist happily in this world? The real persons who live truly are marked unfit by the society, then who fixed these rules? Lots of blood had been shed already in the name of God and ruling others, then what exactly is living? What is success and do we live for that success? Who defined it again? All these are confused statements and questions of my mind. When I talk about these things, this world embarked me with UNFIT mark. Then again who is fit according to the society?

All lies with the weight of the questions. Strange questions irrelevant to practical life. But I'm searching this from my birth and I have been discussing it with many people for the past twelve years, right from when I started living my life on my own. These irrelevant discussions in a too fast mechanical chaotic society are the cause of this Inner quest - the Inn-Quest. The amalgamation of my questions with their questions and an inner drive to find the answers together. I have presented here in the blog whatever maximum I remember.

I am not a spiritual or religious leader, to say it truly not even a follower. I don't support religious dogmas on the whole. I take the true essence of them. But I search for the Truth, the existent reality as said so. These are just the outcomes of my search of Truth. I try to present only whatever I found to be relevant. Right from the 18 siddhas of Tamilnadu, to taoism, Zen etc., whatever I gone through in my life, I present to viewers. This is not a conclusion. This is just a path to know the truth. To say it right, this is also a path. A path towards what, or is there a path towards it remains a question. So lets keep it as understanding the Truth.

Read it slowly and carefully. Put the questions yourself and try to find the truth in the answers. Only that much I can say. These are just cases of discussions with my friends in public places like bus stops, tea and coffee bars, open terraces etc., where I spend most of my time. I use to wonder while I talk such things in  public places, whether the people around me too have a similar quest. This is the resultant effect of that wondering. It is an ongoing effort without a conclusion. Of course there is no conclusion for anything in this life. There is only transformation.