Finding the "What" in Life

I was just sipping my cup of tea in that night tea shop. Time is about 10 PM. I from my college days started enjoying this tea at night, in a calm serene, but sultry with city's own polluted environment. There was this boy who always put a lot of questions to me. A junior of about 5 to 6 years younger than me. Only such discussions have made my mind more brighter. It is not just the human psychology which we have to learn, It is human himself. I was too late when I realized things as it is. What is life? 


Many people are running behind something. Call it money, love, sex, a deity or the truth itself. Many are ambitious, but others are not. They are happy within their petty life. Many find it happy to have a routine 9 to 5 office environment, then spending time within their family. These people don't strive to be famous or something, while there is another group which needs money, name and fame, say a celebrity. It is another kind of life set. So what is the exact life's content? I am still searching. Here is a discussion about the same with that boy - A seeker.


Seeker : Anna, you always talk philosophies and also say they are used in our day to day life. Many people, including big religious leaders, have had their own way of answering about the life. What you have in store about life?

A.V.R. : So what is your question? Are you trying to find the answers from the answers of others. Then I can say only you are walking the wrong path. How can I know if you feel hungry? It is you who can feel it and then comes the question. But when we know there are plenty of food available outside, the idea of that it would be tasty and spicy, stops the mind from consuming what is exactly necessary at the moment to stop the real hunger.

Seeker : Those are just ideas of them isn't it, We get the glimpse of that Idea, But what matters is "We need food" isn't it?

Discussions rather than Conclusions

What I am trying to present here are rather discussions than conclusions. I don't believe in teaching the unknown. I think I don't fit in that scenario. But life has taught me better lessons. The outcomes of my own bitter and better experiences. These words come out of that experiences. Does that mean I've neglected "Life" completely. My inner mind says "Negative". I am not a saint or who have taken "Sannyasham" leaving all the worldly affairs. In content even "sannyasham" is also a worldly affair in other term. All of us walk towards something. That is it. The purpose is to live properly.

Questions start right from our childhood. We want to know more. We always drive our life to the next level. So where is the end. May be there is no end. There can be only transformation. I intend to present all the contents in this blog as part of discussions I had with my friends, family members, students(I was an academic teacher, so take in that sense) so on and on.

The discussions will be like a seeker who is seeking something firing questions at me. The answers will be what I know, What I learn't etc., But it is again an interrogation. Because answers maximum lie in the questions itself. It is already there.

It is all about deriving at something which is unknown.

I use the term "Anna", as many of my fellow youngsters use to call me in tamil, it actually means "Elder Brother". So I put it in the same manner here in blog too.

To know more about my biography(?!), visit http://mythoughtsarehazy.blogspot.com, http://www.alphaatomega.com

If anybody have something comments, feel free to feed it. It is rather a search together.

The Beginning

These are just the talks of this ordinary man. A common man if seen from any perspective. It is because now only I've just started using the sixth sense, the sense of rational thinking in the right way. Until then I was an animal and now just traveling towards the attainment of the man-ness. I always wondered how and when this man started thinking rationally, and finally is he different from animals yet? A question unanswered.

It is my quest towards the unknown. Actually it is not a journey towards a parallel universe. There is a lot to know in this world itself. I remember Einstein wondered about the overlying Ocean, when he stood in the shore. I belong to that category. I born in Tiruvannamalai, a spiritual town, which taught divinity to me. I don't belong to a particular religion, but I started my quest there. Still searching for the Truth. Different people with different styles of life and of course different kinds of problems, often made me to think "What the hell is this life?". Rather only this thought made me to dig out the unknown, but the digging continues. Only thing which matters is the cost I have given for it. My whole life. Costing my whole life, still I search for the right answer.

What is life? What is the purpose of life? What we seek in life and we run after what? Who is God? How he will be? What is his form? Is the existence of a supreme being true? If true why there are so much of infirmities in this life? In such a case how people who do what is called wrong is living happily? How they live bullying on others.. with all kinds of iniquities and infirmities? In such a case, what is the actual form of living? Are dominant religious, political leaders, money bearing millionaires are selected people by the supreme being to exist happily in this world? The real persons who live truly are marked unfit by the society, then who fixed these rules? Lots of blood had been shed already in the name of God and ruling others, then what exactly is living? What is success and do we live for that success? Who defined it again? All these are confused statements and questions of my mind. When I talk about these things, this world embarked me with UNFIT mark. Then again who is fit according to the society?

All lies with the weight of the questions. Strange questions irrelevant to practical life. But I'm searching this from my birth and I have been discussing it with many people for the past twelve years, right from when I started living my life on my own. These irrelevant discussions in a too fast mechanical chaotic society are the cause of this Inner quest - the Inn-Quest. The amalgamation of my questions with their questions and an inner drive to find the answers together. I have presented here in the blog whatever maximum I remember.

I am not a spiritual or religious leader, to say it truly not even a follower. I don't support religious dogmas on the whole. I take the true essence of them. But I search for the Truth, the existent reality as said so. These are just the outcomes of my search of Truth. I try to present only whatever I found to be relevant. Right from the 18 siddhas of Tamilnadu, to taoism, Zen etc., whatever I gone through in my life, I present to viewers. This is not a conclusion. This is just a path to know the truth. To say it right, this is also a path. A path towards what, or is there a path towards it remains a question. So lets keep it as understanding the Truth.

Read it slowly and carefully. Put the questions yourself and try to find the truth in the answers. Only that much I can say. These are just cases of discussions with my friends in public places like bus stops, tea and coffee bars, open terraces etc., where I spend most of my time. I use to wonder while I talk such things in  public places, whether the people around me too have a similar quest. This is the resultant effect of that wondering. It is an ongoing effort without a conclusion. Of course there is no conclusion for anything in this life. There is only transformation.